HOW TO HANDLE YOUR NEXT SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer pulls over a man for speeding. "May I see your driver's
license?"
"I don't have one," the driver replies. "It was suspended when I got my
5th
DUI."
The officer takes a deep breath. "Then may I see the registration card
for
this vehicle?"
"I don't have it. The car is stolen."
"This car is stolen?" the officer asks.
"That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the registration
card
in the glove box when I was putting my
gun in there."
"There's a gun in the glove box?"
"Yes, sir. That's where I put it after I killed the woman who owns this
car
and stuffed her in the trunk."
"There's a BODY in the TRUNK?"
"Yes, sir."
"OK, get out of the car now," drawing his gun.
"Don't you think you better call for a backup? There's no telling what
else
may happen here."
"Good idea," the policeman replied.
Within two minutes, three other police cars arrive. A captain quickly
gets
out of one car to handle the tense situation.
"Sir, may I see your license?" the captain asks.
"Sure, here it is," the driver replies, handing over a valid license.
The captain looks at it and raises an eyebrow. "Whose car is this?" the
captain asks.
"It's mine, officer," the man replies. "Do you want to see the
registration?"
"I want you to slowly open your glove compartment so I can see if
there's a
gun in it," replies the captain.
"Yes, sir, but there's no gun in there."
Sure enough, there was nothing except the registration in the glove
compartment.
"Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body
in
it."
"No problem." He pops the trunk is open. Of course, there's no body.
"The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a
license,
stole the car, had a gun in the glove
compartment, and that there was a dead body in the trunk. Why would he
tell
me this?"
"He's a lying bastard. He probably told you that I was speeding, too."
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