Dear Consumers:
It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 98
SOUTHERN EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside the South. If
you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands.
The Southern edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen.It
reads: WINDERS 98, with a background picture of General Robert E. Lee
superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Dukes of Hazzard
screen saver.
Please also note:
The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
Dial up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
Control Panel is known as the "The Dashboard"
Hard Drive is referred to as "4 Wheel Drive"
Floppies are "them little ol plastic disc thangs"
Instead of an error message a "garbage bag and roll of duct tape" pops up
CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY, SOUTHERN EDITION:
> > OK . . . . . . . ats aw-right > Cancel . . . . . stopdat >
>Reset . . . . . try er agin > Yes . . . . . . yep > No . . . . .
>. . noop > Find . . . . . . hunt fer it > Go to. . . . . . over
>yonder > Back . . . . . . back yonder > Help . . . . . . hep me out
>here > Stop . . . . . . kwitit > Start . . . . . crank er up >
>Settings . . . . settins > Programs . . ... stuff at duz stuff >
>Documents . . .. stuff ah done did
> >
Also note that SOUTHERN EDITION does not recognize capital letters or
punctuation marks.
Some programs that are exclusive to Winders 98:
> > Tipe riter . . . . . .. A word processing program > colerin book
>. . . . . a graphics program > cyferin masheeeen . ....calculator >
>outhouse paper . . ....notepad > innnner-net . . . . . . . Microsoft
>Explorer 4.0 > pichers . . . . . . . .A graphics viewer
We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the
SOUTHERN EDITION.
You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.
I hope this helps all y'all! Billy Bob Gates
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