Hey! When was you at my house observing me? ROFLMAO
mayf
At 09:46 AM 3/16/00 -0700, Daniel Wright wrote:
>Hi
>Thought you all might enjoy this
>Oil change...
>
>Women:
>1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube at 3000 miles since the last oil change.
>2. Drink a cup of coffee.
>3. 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained
>vehicle.
>
>Men:
>1. Go to O'Reilly auto parts and write a check for 50 dollars for oil,
>filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and scented tree.
>2. Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking back to
>O'Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.
>3. Open a beer and drink it.
>4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
>5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
>6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
>7. Place drain pan under engine.
>8. Look for 13mm box end wrench.
>9. Give up and use crescent wrench.
>10. Unscrew drain plug.
>11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in the process.
>12. Clean up.
>13. Have another beer while oil is draining.
>14. Look for oil filter wrench.
>15. Give up; poke oil filter with Phillips head screwdriver and twist it
>off.
>16. Beer.
>17. Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Finish oil change tomorrow.
>18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car, dump in
>hole in back yard.
>19. Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during steps 11 and 15.
>20. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.
>21. Walk to 7-11 and buy beer.
>22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of clean oil to
>gasket first.
>23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
>24. Remember drain plug from step 11.
>25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan. Pan is empty - hurry to find
>drain plug in back yard hole.
>26. Hurry to replace drain plug as last drop of fresh oil drains onto floor.
>27. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame.
>28. Bang head on bumper in reaction.
>29. Begin cussing fit.
>30. Throw wrench.
>31. Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December
>(1992)in the left boob.
>32. Clean up; apply Band-Aid to knuckle.
>33. Beer.
>34. Beer.
>35. Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil.
>36. Beer.
>37. Lower car from jack stands
>38. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands
>39. Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during
>step 26
>40. Drive car 1/2 quart low for 7000 miles when it'll be time for another
>oil change.
>
>Dan Wright
>Dept. of Human Genetics, University of Utah
>dan@saltflats.com
>Utah Salt Flats Racing Association
>"It's amazing what you can do when you don't know it can't be done"
>
>
L.E. Mayfield
124 Maximillion Drive
Madison, Al. 35758-8171
ph: 1-256-837-1051
http://home.hiwaay.net/~lemayf
lemay@hiwaay.net
Sunbeam Tiger, B9471136
Sunbeam Alpine Bonneville Land Speed Racer,
'66 Hydroplane Drag Boat (390 FE)
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