SPECIAL EDITION for "FRIDAY FUNNIES"
A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets
into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."
Passenger: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the
time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happen like that to
Frank Feldman every single time."
Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have
won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an
opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard
him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."
Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered
everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which
fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a
fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do
everything right."
Passenger: "Wow. Some guy then."
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid
traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he
never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her
feel good. He would never talk back to her even if she was in the wrong;
and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was
the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to
Frank Feldman."
Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank. He died. I'm married to his
fucking widow."
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