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Fw: Disorder in the American Courts

To: <healeys@autox.team.net>
Subject: Fw: Disorder in the American Courts
From: "David Ward" <david@bighealey.ltd.uk>
Date: Thu, 20 Apr 2006 22:30:45 +0100
 ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
 WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
 WITNESS: Yes.
 ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
 WITNESS: Uh....

 ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
 WITNESS: Yes.
 ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
 WITNESS: None.
 ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

 ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
 WITNESS: By death.
 ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

 ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
 WITNESS : He was about medium height and had a beard.
 ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

 ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead
 people?
 WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
 ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
 WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
 ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
 WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an
 autopsy on him!

 ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
 WITNESS: Huh?

 ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a
 pulse?
 WITNESS: No.
 ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
 WITNESS: No.
 ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
 WITNESS: No.
 ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you 
 began
 the autopsy?
 WITNESS: No.
 ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
 WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
 ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
 WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing
 law.




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