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Friday funnies (either early or late)

To: healeys@autox.team.net
Subject: Friday funnies (either early or late)
From: Warthodson@aol.com
Date: Tue, 1 Nov 2005 08:31:13 EST
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From: "dkopitke" <dkopitke@kc.rr.com>
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Subject: Contest results
Date: Mon, 31 Oct 2005 20:14:04 -0600
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ANNUAL NEOLOGISM CONTEST

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its
yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings
for common words. The winners are:

Please add some of your own favourites.

1. Coffee (N.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (V.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (V.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (Adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (Adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (V.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (N.), olive-flavoured mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (N.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run
over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (N.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (N.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (N.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (N), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (N.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (N.), The belief that, when you die, your spirit flies
up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (N.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish
men.




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