NBC News
Date Line: August 28, 2005
Peter Pullyurchain
National Frozen Dairy Correspondent
Very few internet stories have an ounce of truth. However this one appears to
have materialized as predicted. Last week a internet-based rumor broke and
swept the nation. A national car club announced an ice cream social event
which worried the Ice Cream Vendors and dairy farmers all over the country.
August 28th was the day, your local ice cream shop was the place and the Austin
Healey was the car. The sewer system did not overflow with melted ice cream as
predicted by Bob Utter, spokesman for the National Dairy Council. In fact
there were no reports of any ice cream in the nations disposal system. When
reached for comment, Mr. Utter suggested that it may have something to do with
the cars transports. He went on to say, We underestimated the insulating
affect provided by the enclosed trailers.
Reports of mass confusion and major parking lot constraint issues have been
reported all across North America. Margarita Vaca Del Rancho, the Ice Cream
Vendors Association spokeswoman had this to say, Our membership was caught
completely off guard, a real rocky road. We were expecting these cute little
British cars and instead we were over run with 14, 16 and 20 trailers.
While on the surface this may not seem like a big deal but add to that the tow
vehicles and your local Dairy King and Tasty Breeze becomes inaccessible to the
general public.
This news reporter spoke to some at a Cold Rock Creamery in Wachamakalit, North
Dakota. Bobby Braces, 14 years old had this to say, I hear there is an old
car in that black one (trailer) over yonder, an Aston Mealey. My daddy said it
was an MG?
Bruce Heffer, proprietor of the Cold Rock Creamery wasnt too pleased. Our
parking lot can only hold 12 cars. All of a sudden we have 18 trailers and no
place for my regular customers to park.
Bubba Billy Bob Joe Bobb, from Triple B-JB Transports, a local trailer
dealership and frequent customer to the Cold Rock Creamery was very impressed
by the display. I came for the trailer-show. Dem car owners are some of my
biggest customers. Theres a 01 FeatherMite, and a classic 1991 16 open,
beaver-tail Texan Preacher. Over dare is a hot custom 3 axle 22 Racers
Choice with a paint-matched Pickem-Up dually, king cab.
Patting the side of his enclosed FeatherMite trailer, Al Kada said he brought
1960 frogeye. Bobby Braces (the 14 year-old mentioned above) begged to see the
980 bugs [2 eyes per frog]. Sorry son, but you can only see it if youre a
concous judge. When asked which club he was affiliated with, Al Kada said, I
belong to all clubs, theres the Austin Healey Club of North America, North
American Healey Owners Group, and the Non-Canadian AH Society - more the
merrier.
Most people still blame Al Gore since it was his internet that started the
whole thing. Mr. Gore could not be reached for comment as he was vacationing
in Florida count chads.
Special Note: No cows were harmed in the making of this parody. Any
resemblance of story-line characters to actual Healey owners is purely
coincidence and shear damn luck. References to trademarks remain trademarks of
the trademark owners and are not marked for trade to non-trademark holders.
xxxx
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