A woman brought a very limp duck in to a veterinary surgeon. As
she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and
listened to the bird's chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm
so sorry, your duck has passed away."
The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.
"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done
any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or
something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and
returned a few moments later with a black labrador retriever. As the duck's
owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his
front paws on the examination table, and sniffed the duck from top to bottom.
He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments
later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed
delicately at the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on it's haunches,
shook its head, meowed softly, and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said,
this is most definitely, 100 percent certifiably, a dead duck." Then the
vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a
bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the
bill. "$150!", she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!!"
The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the
bill would have been $20, but with the lab report and the cat scan, it's
now $150.00."
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Bob Spidell San Jose, CA bspidell@comcast.net
'67 Austin-Healey 3000 '56 Austin-Healey 100M
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