The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter
was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely
impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor.
The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and
any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He
then
told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and
until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.
Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date,
the
woman told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.
The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother
saying:
"Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake
the preacher's hand. He said, "Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a
damned fine sermon. Damned good!"
The preacher said, "Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't
use
that kind of language in the Lord's House."
The man said, "I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put
five thousand dollars in the offering plate!"
The preacher said, "No shit?"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Mom and Dad took their six-year-old son to the doctor. With some
hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared
to
be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.
After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared,
"Just
feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem."
The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a
very large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.
"Gee, Mom," he exclaimed. "For me?"
"Just take two," the mother replied. "The rest are for your
father."
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