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VARAC Lawnchair Race

To: fot@autox.team.net
Subject: VARAC Lawnchair Race
From: Henry Frye <henry@henryfrye.com>
Date: Tue, 01 Jul 2003 08:46:07 -0400
This post is waaaaay off topic, delete now if you don't want to read about 
something silly.

The Canadians really know how to have fun, eh? For some reason, they see 
the need to actually organize their chaos, and have come up with the VARAC 
Lawnchair Races. They went so far as to write up some GCR's.

http://www.varac.ca/Festival/LawnchairGCRs.html

Seeing as the Triumphs were the featured marque, some instigator, who shall 
hopefully remain nameless, felt we needed to reciprocate some of the 
marvelous hospitality we were enjoying and decided 10 minutes before the 
race that we needed an entry. We needed a wheeled conveyance that would 
hold a lawn chair. It needed to be known without any doubt that this was 
the Triumph entry, so said instigator went on the prowl for some wheeled 
conveyance that could both hold a lawn chair, and not be mistaken for the 
MG entry.

Given the short time we had to organize, build and test our lawnchair 
racer, Donny Sopp was spotted waxing his Spitfire. Donny got railroaded to 
let us use his Spit for the wheels of the Triumph lawnchair entry. A handy 
color coordinated lawnchair was absconded from under Russ Moore's canopy, 
and was quickly racer taped to the top of Donny's roll bar. Kas suggested 
additional tape be applied to ensure our driver, a pink flamingo beanie 
baby, was adequately strapped in.

As Donny drove our entry to the grid, the other competitors were already 
crying foul. They started citing the GCR's, and pointing out where our 
entry was in blatant violation. Like it couldn't have steering or be 
motorized... We reminded the officials that cheating was encouraged, and 
ensured them that we were not intending to use the Spit's engine. As the 
Triumph people arrived to push, they started to come around. After several 
Guinness were handed out to the officials as bribes, we passed 
scrutineering and were given the official "OK to Race."

The track was a tight course, conditions were clear and dry. We were 
looking at about 100 feet up a slight grade, around a barrel into the 
switchback, and back downhill to the start/finish line. Those Guinness came 
in handy as we were afforded a dispensation forgiving the requirement to go 
around the barrel, we merely had to pass the barrel and then push backwards 
to the start/finish line.

Most of the Triumph drivers, crew, invited dignitaries etc. got into 
position to push. We had no doubt we had the peoplepower advantage. The 
power to weight ratio was questionable, but our group was up to the 
challenge. By luck of the draw we were given poor grid position behind a 4 
year old girl atop a beach chair strapped to a mechanics creeper, and at 
the green flag found it difficult to pass. Donny was co-driver to the 
beanie baby, and expertly stabbed the brakes avoiding what looked to be a 
nasty shunt with the 4 year old girl. At the switchback we were rewarded 
with the fastest turn around, and the drag race to the end was close.

Unfortunately, the photo-finish equipment was not on, and we were declared 
4th out of 5 competitors. We were all set to protest, but it seems the only 
rule in the GCR's that means anything to the sanctioning body is the no 
protest rule!

We did win the popular "peoples choice" award, and the highest lawnchair 
award, and for some reason, we didn't get invited back for next year...

;-)

Does anybody have any pictures?   ;-)

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