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> > A Tribute to Lucas Electronics ......
> >
> > Joseph Lucas ltd, the English Automotive Electronics Manufacturer has a
> > reputation not entirely untrue.
> >
> > The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark."
> >
> > Lucas denies having invented the darkness, but they still claim the
> > "sudden, unexpected darkness"
> >
> > Lucas is the patent holder for the short circuit.
> >
> > Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.
> >
> > Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.
> >
> > The three position Lucas switch - Dim, Flicker & Off. The other three
> > switch settings - Smoke, Smolder & Burn.
> >
> > The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.
> >
> > "I have had a Lucas pacemaker for years & have never had any trou... "
> >
> > If Lucas made guns, wars would not start either.
> >
> > Did you hear about the Lucas powered torpedo - It sank!
> >
> > It's not true that Lucas, in 1947, tried to get Parliament to repeal
Ohm's
> > Law. They withdrew their efforts when they meet too much resistance.
> >
> > Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover & asked
> > the owner "How can you tell one switch from another at night as they all
> > look the same?"
> > He replied "It does not matter which one you use, nothing happens!"
> >
> > Back in the 70's, Lucas decided to diversify its product line & began
> > manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered
which
> > did not suck.
> >
> > QA called & told Engineering they had trouble with his design shorting
out
> > so he made the wires longer.
> >
> > Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone.
> > Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb.
> > Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.
> >
> > Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment:
Check
> > the position of the stars, kill a chicken & walk three times sunwise
> > around your car chanting "Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect your
> > unworthy servant."
> >
> > Lucas systems actually use AC current; it just has a random frequency
> > that's all.
> >
> > I fully understand why the Brits drink warm beer, they have Lucas
> > refrigerators.
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