'Y all' seem to like some of my stories, so here's another one (by the time
my book's published, whenever that might be, the Fot group will have most
of it).
You will remember 'Roop' from one of my recent e-mails (Rupert Instone who
blew up the drain with bang water - I've also put this story in Moss
Motoring with some other stuff). Well he was in charge of an experimental
'tank' development unit during the war. He got thoroughly pissed of with
the fact that the American tanks were faster than ours, a fact which yankee
tank commanders loved to rub in when they visited his unit on trials.
Roop was a slight man like my father, but like my father, he was made of
piano wire. He decided to build a racing tank. At that time the Meteor tank
(developed by Rolls Royce) used a RR 'Merlin' engine with the supercharger
and reduction gear removed.
Roops allocation of experimental tanks was 50 and with the exactitude of
War Office policy this number could not be exceeded by one nut or bolt.
After a few months, a 'top secret' experimental tank was born in Roop's
workshops made from redundant parts and lightweight armor plate, tracks
and track wheels etc. It also had a very special Merlin engine, which my
father always insisted was actually built from an experimental and larger
RR 'Griffon' aero engine (Ken and Roop regualrly met up during the war on
war projects). Roop affectionately named his tank NUMBER FIFTY ONE.
Number 51 was the British army's first 'racing' tank, and to all intents
and purposes, it looked like any other Meteor. Roop's exploits with it
became legendary. He demonstrated it on his testing grounds to every
visiting dignitary, and especially to any American top brass. His
demonstrations with number 51 were never equaled in terms of speed and
maneuverability.
The only blot on a perfect record was when Roop once drove it on the open
road. He lost control entering a sharp bend and exploded through a hedge
only to be confronted by a small country garden with a house at the other
end. He ploughed on sideways through roses and delphiniums, eventually
straightening up just in time to clip the corner of the house. Showered in
bricks he regained control and disappeared through another section of the
hedge and back onto the road. After stopping number 51, he found no-one at
home in the house, so he continued his journey - deciding that a personal
visit to the unfortunate houseowner was now of paramount importance before
a complaint and investigation was convened. Roop went back to the house
later to explain the incident. The somewhat upset houseowner, impressed
with the honesty and courtesy of Roop's apology, and the fact that the
damage would be made good, agreed to say no more. He was also gratified to
learn from Roop that the escaped prisoner of war who had stolen the tank
had been caught and will be duly punished!!
The war over, there came the time to hand back all war machinery. Roop's
tanks and equipment were duly tallied up by a receiving Officer from the
Equipment Section of the War Office. The count revealed FIFTY ONE TANKS.
Now the war Office in London could cope with losses of equipment,
especially tanks, but to have an extra tank on the books caused a seemingly
insoluble and very serious problem. The paperwork people went into high
gear to produce, in double triplicate, the necessary paperwork for the
ensuing high level enquiry.
Realizing a potentially very tricky situation developing, whereby an
inspection by high level counting officials might be involved, 'Brigadier'
Roop Instone M.B.E.decided his test facility needed a 'tidy up.' He ordered
all his tanks to be started up and moved round. During the ensuing activity
'Number 51' was driven into the workshops and completely stripped own.
When the enquiry team arrived, the count revealed only 50 tanks. After
severe reprimands were dished out to the now bewildered counting officers
for inefficiency and time wasting, the count was duly signed of as '50
present and correct.' The store inspection was also signed off as present
and correct - including rows of racked spares labeled 'NUMBER FIFTY ONE.'
Among the mountain of other stories about Roop, my real favorite concerns a
trip to the Five Nations Rugby International at Parc De Princes in Paris
some years ago.
Roop, decided to celebrate the England win over France by having a few jars
in a bar with some pals after the match (he was about 75 at this time). He
came out considerably the worst for drink and walked straight into the side
of a passing bus.
He'd worn glasses all his life, but after spending the night in a Paris
hospital, he awoke to find his sight was perfect - and he never used
glasses again for the rest of his life!!
He also married his wife Freda twice (what a darling character she was as
well). The second time he turned up at the country church for the ceremony
in an eight wheeled armoured car which had a long barreled 'ten pounder' on
the top. The ceremony over he and Freda both went back to work (she was in
the WRAF).
Paul
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