Oldie but goodie.
I add that Lucas won WW2. Due to Lucas, every soldier was
an excellent mechanic
and electrician.
Due to the technical abilities forced
upon residents of the UK by crappy cars,
they invented radar and the Merlin
engine which won the war, powering Mustangs,
Spitfires, Hurricanes and
Lancasters.
JimG
ELECTRICAL THEORY BY JOSEPH LUCAS
Positive ground
depends on proper circuit functioning, which is the transmission
of negative
ions by retention of the visible spectral manifestation known as
b smokeb .
Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work. We know this to be
true
because every time one lets the smoke out of an electrical circuit, it
stops
working. This can be verified repeatedly through empirical testing.
For example, if one places a copper bar across the terminals of a battery,
prodigious quantities of smoke are liberated and the battery shortly ceases to
function. In addition, if one observes smoke escaping from an electrical
component such as a Lucas voltage regulator, it will also be observed that the
component no longer functions. The logic is elementary and inescapable!
The
function of the wiring harness is to conduct the smoke from one device to
another. When the wiring springs a leak and lets all the smoke out of the
system, nothing works afterward.
Starter motors were considered unsuitable
for British motorcycles for some time
largely because they consumed large
quantities of smoke, requiring very
unsightly large wires.
It has been
reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly more prone to
electrical leakage than their Bosch, Japanese or American counterparts.
Experts
point out that this is because Lucas is British, and all things
British leak.
British engines leak oil, British shock absorbers, hydraulic
forks and disk
brake systems leak fluid, British tires leak air and British
Intelligence leaks
national defense secrets.
Therefore, it follows that
British electrical systems must leak smoke. Once
again, the logic is clear
and inescapable.
In conclusion, the basic concept of transmission of
electrical energy in the
form of smoke provides a logical explanation of the
mysteries of electrical
components especially British units manufactured by
Joseph Lucas, Ltd.
And remember: b A gentleman does not motor about after
dark.b
Joseph Lucas b The Prince of Darknessb
1842-1903
A few Lucas
quips:
The Lucas motto: b Get home before dark.b
Lucas is the patent holder
for the short circuit.
Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.
Lucas
- Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.
The three-position Lucas switch--DIM,
FLICKER and OFF. The other three switch
settings--SMOKE, SMOLDER and IGNITE.
The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.
If Lucas made guns, wars
would not start
Back in the b70s, Lucas decided to diversify its product
line and began
manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they
offered which did
not suck.
Q: Why do the British drink warm beer? A: Because
Lucas makes their
refrigerators.
This has been referred to as the smoke
theory when the smoke comes out its
finished, cooked or done for.
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