Acura Integra I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars
Acura Legend I'm too bland for German cars
Acura NSX I am impotent
Audi 90 I enjoy putting out engine fires
Buick Park Avenue I am older than4 of the 50 states
Cadillac Eldorado I am a very good Mary Kay salesman
Cadillac Seville I am a pimp
Chevrolet Camaro I enjoy beating the hell out of people
Chevrolet Chevette I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have
a 'Vette
Chevrolet Corvette I'm in a mid-life crisis
Chevrolet El Camino I am leading a militia to overthrow the government
Chrysler Cordoba I dig the rich Corinthian leather
Datsun 280Z I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well
Dodge Dart I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower
Dodge Daytona I delivered pizza for four years to get this car
Ferrari Testarossa I am known to prematurely ejaculate
Ford Fairmont (See Dodge Dart)
Ford Mustang I slow down to 85 in school zones
Ford Crown Victoria I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change lanes
when I pull up behind them
Geo Storm I will start the 11th grade in the fall.
Geo Tracker I will start the 12th grade in the fall.
Honda del Sol I have always said, half a convertible better than no
convertible at all
Honda Civic I have just graduated and have no credit
Honda Accord I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.
Infiniti Q45 I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.
Isuzu Impulse I do not give a damn about J.D. Power or his reports.
Jaguar XJ6 I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280
days per year.
Kia Sephia I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp.
Lamborghini Countach I only have one testicle
Lincoln Town Car I live for bingo and covered dish suppers
Mercury Grand Marquis (See above)
Mercedes 500SL I will beat you up if you ask me for an auto-graph
Mercedes 560SEL I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole
Mazda Miata I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen- wheeler
MGB I am dating a mechanic
Mitsubishi Diamante I don't know what it means either
Nissan00ZX I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.
Oldsmobile Cutlass I just stole this car and I'm going to make a fortune off
the parts
Peugeot 505 Diesel I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List
Plymouth Neon I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena
Pontiac Trans AM I have a switchblade in my sock
Porsche 911 Turbo I have a three inch thingie
Porsche 944 I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be
inaccessible to me
Rolls Royce Silver Shadow I think Pat Buchanon is a tad bit too liberal
Saturn SC2 (See Honda Civic)
Subaru Legacy I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior than
Isuzu
Toyota Camry I am still in the closet
Volkswagon Beetle I still watch Partridge Family reruns
Volkswagon Cabriolet I am out of the closet
Volkswagen Jetta GLX I am hung like a dead horse.
Volkswagon Microbus I am tripping right now
Volvo 740 Wagon I am frightened of my wife
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