Not quite roadster related, but I thought some of list member who openly
admit to being over 40 would get a least half a chuckle.
Jerry
-----Original Message-----
From: ERPaul <pking@fsinc.com>
Newsgroups: alt.mountain-bike
Date: Saturday, May 08, 1999 8:04 AM
Subject: She is NOT...=-}
>She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
>
>She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.
>
>She is not HALF NAKED - She is WARDROBE IMPAIRED.
>
>She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.
>
>She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.
>
>She does not want to be MARRIED - She wants to lock you in DOMESTIC
>INCARCERATION.
>
>She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.
>
>She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
>
>She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAl STIMULATION.
>
>She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
>
>She is not TOO SKINNY - She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.
>
>She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE - She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE.
>
>She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS - She is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT.
>
>She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
>
>She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.
>
>She does not GET YOU EXCITED - She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.
>
>She is not KINKY - She is a NON-INHIBITED SEXUAL COMPANION.
>
>She does not have a KILLER BODY - She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.
>
>She does not GO SHOPPING - She is MALL FLUENT.
>
>She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
>
>She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
>
>She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.
>
>She is not COLD or FRIGID - She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE.
>
>She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
>
>She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.
>
>She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is GRAVITY RESISTANT.
>
>She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE
>
>She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
>
>She is not LOOSE - She is MORALLY IMPAIRED.
>
>She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
>
>She does not have THIN LIPS - She is COLLAGEN DEPENDENT.
>
>
>
>
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