Re: Marcus Tooze's title hassles:
What is it, I wonder, that turns otherwise ordinary humans into irrational
bureaucrats when they go to work for the Motor Vehicle Dept? One of my
earliest experiences was trying to change the title on my 49 Willys
Jeepster to reflect my newly installed Chevy V8 engine (I misspent much of
my youth doing such things--I say misspent because at the time
approximately 50% of my cohort was unmarried members of the opposite sex
and I was fooling around with CARS--but I digress). The following
dialogue is reported accurately, except I made my part a bit funnier. It
really happened, though:
Me: I have just installed a chevrolet V8 engine in my Willys and I
want to change the title so I can pay much higher license fees to the
great state of Missouri.
Drone: Where is your title for the engine?
Me: Uh....
Drone: (Sneering) Or your notarized bill of sale?
Me: Uh....
Drone: (Disdainfully) I can't help you unless you bring me a title or a
notarized bill of sale for the engine. Next!
I stumbled back into the daylight, wondering how to get a bill of sale for
an engine I bought for cash 8 months earlier, from a junkyard whose name I
could not remember. I envisioned options of reinstalling the original 4
cyl. jeep engine, or simply deciding that the Jeepster would be mine
forever and ever. Next door was a used car lot, with a Notary Public sign
on the door. I borrowed the dealer's typewriter and wrote, "This is to
certify that on or about June 5, 1962, I purchased a Chevrolet V8 engine
Serial number #########, for $125." I signed it, had it notarized,
and took it back to the lady at the motor vehicle office.
Me: I do have this, is it what you need?
Drone: Is it NOTARIZED?
Me: Yes.
Drone: Fine, now why didn't you give it to me the first time! (mad flurry
of rubber stamping, stapling, etc.)
In the the more things change the more they stay the same dept, 5 years
ago I tried to license two derelict bugeyes as a way of establishing
ownership in VT (no title for cars older than 72, and I was worried that I
might spend 4 years restoring one and have a hassle licensing it with 4
year old paperwork). I sent *in a single envelope* two license
applications, two checks, etc, for two identical cars, giving the value of
each as $500 (what I paid). I promptly got the license for one in the
mail. 3 weeks later, the other application was returned with a note
saying the department "expert" had determined that my other car had a
value of $3500, and I owed an additional $150 use (sales) tax if I wished
a license. When I sent a picture of the car, and pointed out that the car
had no engine, transmission, upholstery, or wheels, and that I was merely
licensing it and paying an annual fee to establish ownership, they
returned my check with an explanation that non running cars could not be
licensed.
Wotthehell, wotthehell. Toujours gai, toujours gai.
Ray Gibbons, in frosty Vermont, where the deer and the bureaucrats roam.
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