Dear [insert your favourite Lonely Hearts Columnist],
I gotta talk, I'm a little choked up.
Ever fancy a particular person of the opposite sex and you're always
looking out for them? Just to see them "makes your day" and if you
can talk to them it is sheer ecstacy? This is particularly true if
you are unluckily enough not to be attached (married, engaged or just
plain dating). Being lonely is no fun. You can look but you can't
touch, so even just the looking becomes special.
If you haven't guessed by now, I could also be writing about British Cars.
The girl who cuts my hair runs her business out of her home. She has a
beautiful primrose yellow 1971 TR 6 that she had fully restored several
years ago. However, she got married, bought a house, had kids, etc.
So the TR 6 sat under a tarp in her driveway for a couple of years or more.
Sheer sacrilege, huh? Naturally I talked to her about it virtually every
visit. Since it was just sitting there, undriven (sob), I often asked
her if she might want to sell it. She had many memories of driving around
in it and had spent thousands in the restoration so naturally enough she
was a little reluctant. She had had several people interested in buying it
too, and turned down offers of $5000 only a couple of years ago. So the
car just sat there. I used to look forward to seeing it everytime I went
over for a haircut, and chat about it sometimes.
Last week I went for a haircut... and the TR had gone... ARGH! Desolation!
Where is it??? So I went inside and grilled her (no, I said, "grilled" her).
She had sold it to some 16-year old kid with *wealthy* parents. Damn! He
isn't even old enough to legally drive! JEALOUS RAGE!!! I knew she was
concerned about the car going to a good home, that they would take care of
it, etc, no matter how much she sold it for. Apparently she considered him
a steady, level headed type (I sure hope she's right!). She sold it for
$3000. Be still my heart!
Oh man, WHY did you sell it after all you had told me, Bernadette???? Well,
she said that because it had been sitting idle, it now needed work. Some
rot had begun to set in (she mentioned the boot [trunk] had some deterioration
now). She wanted to sell it to someone who could afford to fix it up.
But he'll wrap it around a tree, I know it. Why does some other bloke have
all the luck? I had been courting the TR for years!
Well now that Britcar that has flirted with me for some seven plus years has
now gone out of my life. I am heartbroken!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
However... there are these neighbours a couple of streets away... they keep
an *immaculate* Triumph Spitfire under a tarp on their side lawn. I've
only seen it tarpless a couple of times and that beaut looks brand new! But
I've never seen it driven... NEVER! Sometimes a maroon MGB with black bumpers
comes over to visit it (Wow! A Britcar family in the neighbourhood!). So
now I have another pair of Britcars to wantonly lust... oops, I mean look
at as I drive by everyday. But they are such teasers, wot with the Spit
always under cover and the MGB hardly ever there! Women! Er... British
Cars!!!
I'm in (puppy) love (from a safe distance, as always) again. My girl (car) is
out there somewhere though..... we're just waiting for that chance meeting.
Garry Archer Esq. {yale, uunet}!hsi!archer -OR- archer@hsi.com
Code 3/HSI Systems (a 3M company), Wallingford, Connecticut, U.S.A.
"An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose." - A.P.Herbert
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