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Top 10 C/Prepared Tools

To: ba-autox@autox.team.net
Subject: Top 10 C/Prepared Tools
From: Smokerbros@aol.com
Date: Sun, 13 Apr 2003 00:40:55 EDT
In keeping with James' service manual translations, here are the top 10 C/P 
tools, stolen from the C/P website!

> 10 Milwaukee Sawzall - useful problem solving device not only in the garage, 
> but on the garage itself. "Whaddya mean the door is too low for the new 
> dually to fit?" Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrzzzzzzzzzzzz!
> 
> 9 Really Long Screwdriver - indispensible for poking down spark plug holes, 
> using with tool #2 to loosen overtightened oil filters, prying the dingus 
> away from the whatchamajiggy, and hundreds of other highly technical 
> procedures.
> 
> 8 Hacksaw - you need this for enlarging the slots in philips head screws so 
> you can use the Really Long Screwdriver to remove them. Ditto for slotting 
> bolt heads after you round the points off with tool #7. Or for slotting the 
> bolt shaft after you break the head off.
> 
> 7 Visegrips - It's a clamp! It's pliers! It's a hammer! If you can actually 
> name a project where you didn't use the visegrips, it merely shows that you 
> lack creativity. Plus, they're very important for opening those pistachios 
> that don't have room to get your thumbnail in between the shell halves.
> 
> 6 The Gas Axe - Really ought to be oxyacetylene, a plasma cutter is 
> acceptable but kind of high tech for the class. Oxyacetylene is also a lot 
> more versatile that the plasma cutter - it can be used to heat stuck bolts 
> prior to application of tool #2, to heat metal parts prior to application 
> of tool #2 (what can I say - this an tool #2 just make a dandy pair), and 
> to warm burritos VERY fast.
> 
> 5 Welder - once again, in keeping with the spirit of the class, this ought 
> to be a gas unit, but in deference to the changing times, one of those 
> nambypamby MIG/TIG units is acceptable as long as it draws enought juice to 
> dim the neighbors' lights when you strike the arc.
> 
> 4 Chalk - Since tobacco juice is both passe' and hazardous to your health, 
> how else are you going to mark where you want to cut and/or weld?
> 
> 3 Yardstick - You've got to figure out where to make that mark, and folding 
> measures are getting harder to come by nowadays. In a pinch, fall back on 
> the ruler cast in to the top of the old tackle box you keep your carb jets 
> and gaskets in.
> 
> 2 Sledgehammer - an indispensible aid to parts adjustment, removal and 
> relocation.
> 
> and of course, the #1 CP Indispensible Tool...
> 
> 1 The Margarita Machine - an indispensible aid to attitude adjustment and 
> creativity
> 
> 
> 
> Chris Heiny

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