Dear Team.Net:
I'm back amongst the living now, having returned from Topeka and the Nationals.
I'm still kind of swimming in all of it, there are soooooo many stories, people,
and memories... A quick recap --
Gene and I loaded Lucretia on the trailer Saturday morning and pulled out of LV
about sunup. We crossed Hoover Dam and headed through Arizona and New Mexico.
(THAT one statement really covers some massive amounts of geography!) The
scenery is wonderful, it all looks like the set for a Roadrunner -vs- Coyote
cartoon. We spent the night in Albequerque (Did I spel thet rite?), and
travelled northeast across the rest of New Mexico, parts of Texas and Oklahoma
and into Kansas, arriving in Topeka about 4pm or so. We found the motel, and
went to the track. We located Rick and Barb's RV and dropped the trailer. We
found "Camp Jackson" in the paddock area by looking for his tattered Union Jack
battle flag waving overhead. Nobody was around. I called JK/Chris at the
hotel, and went out to dinner with my East Coast friends that had made the trip.
JK, Chris, Duane Dunham, George Bowlin, Robert and Tracy, Betsy T... It was a
great reunion. Many tall tales were told, and several adult beveriges
consumed...
Next day, I registered, got Lucretia tech'd and walked the courses. They were
LONG, fast, and wunnerful. I couldn't wait to drive 'em, but first, I was to
report on several other events for Sportscar (Thanks for that opportunity,
Rocky!) and Pylon (Thanks, Miss Pat!). In the paddock area, I was talking to
Chris Moore when this big burly fellow cruised by in a sleek red C Mod car. We
looked at each other, and I knew it was the Exalted Grand Pooh-Bah of Team
Laughing Stock, Mike Bultemeier. It was. He stopped and visited for a while.
GREAT guy! I know his "on-line" persona is a bit on the "RedNeck" side, but in
person, his love of the sport and his enjoyment of life is just great. We had a
great time discussing his cannon. Wish I had a toy like that.
Speaking of wunnerful people, Miss Pat Kelly and Mr. K came by the pit area and
we chatted. I'd talked to them on the phone but never met them. They're quite
impressive, IMHO, still out there racing, writing, and having fun with all the
"young-uns." You just gotta love it. Little bit later, everybody's favorite
Miata driver and Pylon's Ace Reporter, Katie Kelly, showed up at the paddock. I
just couldn't help hugging her immediately. She was with Arie and Art Vilasol,
who were campaigning a Capri in DSP this year. More Great Folks! Arie and Art
are both MGB fans, Arie drove his B to Topeka and raced it two years ago, a feat
that still amazes me. Again, we hit it off immediately. A few days later, Arie
kicked my butt soundly in DSP, but I still like him and his Dad, in spite of it
all!
It kinda gets to be a blur after that. I met Gary Meissner, from Chicago
region, and chatted with him and Miss Sarah, his SO. Good folks, again.
Patrick Washburn (Moo) and I met at one of the parties one night, I met both
Chuck and Huck, and they are as hilarious in person as they are in print.
(Chuck nearly met a sad fate on Friday, but more about that later...) I know
I'll never remember 'em all here, but a lot of friends from Team.Net came up and
said hello. I have to mention my one time nemesis, Mark Sipe, who shook my hand
and said hello. (BTW, I was watching A/S when he ran that amazing 61.6 and I
didn't see him hit a cone.) I met both Roger Johnson's and I have a theory
about all the confusion... At first I thought they were one person, because I
never saw 'em at the same time. Then I did see 'em together, and it all
clicked! They're twins, obviously seperated at birth. I just don't know how to
break the news to them... Perhaps somebody that knows 'em better than I do will
tell them... I guess Old Mother Johnson just couldn't raise both of 'em. THAT
would have been a tough choice, or perhaps she couldn't find ANYBODY to take the
second one?
I ran the North Course on Thursday. It was tough. Me and Lucretia were
pedaling as fast as we could, but those pesky Fiats (and most everybody else)
were just quicker than us. Something happened that typifies this sport, and the
people in it, that I have to tell y'all about. After one of my runs, Tom
Harrington was scrubbing the pebbles off the tires when he noticed a piece of
metal stuck in one of them. I looked at it, and knew I was in trouble. I ran
over to JK's grid slot, and asked to borrow a jack. When I told him why, he
came over to my area and took a look. Rick Kostelaz, from LV Region, was there.
Rick said he had a patch kit, and went to get it. JK told me to go to his truck
and get two tires in case I had to change 'em out. I reached under the car and
pulled the nail out, and heard air. Before I could get out of the way, even,
Gene had the car jacked up, Tom was spinning the lugs off, and Rick was getting
out his patch kit while Barb swapped numbers and got the car ready for Gene's
run. It looked like a Ferrari F1 pit stop, there was such a swarm around the
car. They got the tire off, patched it, used JK's air tank to fill it, put it
back on, and had Gene ready to go without missing a beat. There just are no
other people as good to have as friends as racers, that's all there is to it!
The only down side was that all this so inspired Gene that he outran me on that
last run, in MY CAR! I thought about protesting him, but decided to wait until
Friday.
The Talent Show was a scream. Butletmeier's video was great, as was the Goeke
video. (I loved the "airplane shot" in that one.) Katie Kelly, Roger J, and
the crew in the "This Is Your Life" skit were wunnerful, but "Memphis Mumbles"
(aka Doug Gill) was the cream of the crop. I'd love for him to come to the next
LV region party. (Whaddya say, Doug?? I'll buy ya a beer?!?!?) After the
talent show, which I took a "pass" on, what with not having any talent and all,
I met the nearly famous Eric Linhoff, and I can report that he does NOT actually
have a square head (it was mostly rounded, honest!) and his knuckles do NOT drag
the ground, except maybe on very steep inclines.
Friday's run on the South course was even more fun than the North one. After
Thursday, Gene was firmly in 34th place to my 35th, proving that I was really a
great choice to win DSP! (I tolk Katie waaaaaa-aaay before all this started
that I was NOT competitive, except in very small regions!) We both ran times in
the low 70's, holding our own in the class. Unfortunately, our own was still
barely faster than the guys that didn't show up... Then, the disaster du jour
happened. Gene went out for his second run, and in the middle of the course,
Lucretia suddenly coughed up a puff of black smoke, and coasted to a stop. Our
boy CHuck was announcing at the time. I watched as my Darlin', my race car, and
my ride to work was pushed off the course. Chuck thought this was a good time
to trot out all those tired old "Lucas Jokes" about warm beer, TV's that leak
oil, etc... He will never know how close he came to waking up with "LUCAS"
carved in his forehead with my Leatherman tool, and with an intimate knowledge
of just what a Southern Boy means by "A**-Whuppin." I can make fun of Lucretia,
but nobody else better try... He might just as well have said that my daughters
were ugly, too... Oh well, I calmed down later and forgave him. Maybe... Sort
of... Just kidding, Chuck, I still love ya! And, by the way, KISS MY LUCAS
A*S! (Oooops, did I say that out loud? Sorry... I do love ya.)
I went out to the car and found the clamp holding the distributor had loosened a
tad, allowing the distributor to slide out of the block about 1/4 inch, enough
that it didn't engage the drive gear. I other word, it wasn't distributing. I
grabbed the 7/16's wrench, loosened the clamp some more, aligned the distributor
by the Grace of God and the Law of Gravity and stuck it back in there.
Tightened it down, cranked Lucretia up and was ready to go again. Timing? We
don't need no steeeenkin' timing light! Been looking at that distributor for
twenty years, I know where it goes. Well, I got back to grid in time for my
next run, still steaming that somebody ridiculed my Lucretia in front of the
crowd. I went out for my last run and turned in a 66.9, almost 4 seconds better
than my previous best. Gene was amazed. So was JK. So was Tom. So was I.
Guess "Road Rage" can be a good thing. (Thanks, CHuck!) That run vaulted me up
to a lofty 33rd in DSP. (Hey, in this league, I was proud of that!) Gene ran a
solid 69 second run, and finished 35th, in an antique car that he'd never even
sat in until Saturday. He's really quite a driver.
The rest of it is REALLY a blur. Went to the Friday awards banquet, with folks
from both coasts and Team.Net scheduled to get awards. I wore my hands out
clapping for folks I knew, and had another large time at the party. I will
share with you that it is NOT a good idea to start a "Food-Fight" with the C/P
table. Those folks really know how to enjoy life. Berger, I love you, too!
In other words, I had the time of my life. I will NEVER be able to properly
express my thanks to Team.Net for sending me to Nationals. It was wonderful,
I'm still in shock, still recalling incidents that made it a great week! (Did I
mention I was caught between Ace Reporter and Mike B during a political
discussion? WOW!) All the Team.Net folks were great, just like I knew they
would be, and the experience is one never to be forgotten. I was amazed from
the time I saw all those cars in the paddock right up to the moment I left town.
Thanks to all of you.
JD Kemp &
"Lucretia MacEvil" #13 MGB
The 33rd Best DSP Car on the Planet!
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